Autistic and ADHD Without Knowing: The High School Years
Teenage life during the 1980s, with no support for autism and ADHD
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| Some of the items from my teenage years. |
In previous posts, I've written about my experiences at college and primary school, when I didn't know I was autistic and ADHD.
Now it's time to fill in the gap, by looking back at my high school years.
(That covers the age range 11–16 here in the UK.)
It's the most difficult thing I've written so far. A number of unpleasant memories have resurfaced, including bullying.
I've jumped about on the timeline, partly to try to keep related things together, and partly because that's how my mind works.
There's also a long — but incomplete — list of music at the end.
I keep thinking of all the things that I've not included, but I have to stop somewhere. I hope I've managed to edit it into something readable.
New House
My family moved house in 1979, just before I transitioned to high school. But I didn't want to move.
I loved the bungalow we used to live in, and I knew a few people in the area. It felt safe, familiar and comfortable.
Even at the time, I suspected that my mum didn't think I'd cope with the journey to high school, or having lunch there.
The house move cut what would have been a 20-minute walk to just 8 minutes. It also made it viable to continue to have lunch at home, like I'd done at primary school.
By not walking from my old estate, with my primary school classmates, I felt like a loner.
The new area was rougher, and didn't feel as safe. I remember shouting through the landing window when a boy who lived nearby tried to use my bike without permission. I don't think he meant any harm, but we never had anything to do with one another after that.
One of the boys from my old area got invited to visit me at the new house. I'm not sure who arranged it; maybe my parents could see I wasn't happy.
When he turned up, it didn't feel the same as before. Perhaps it was the absence of the other people from my old area, or the nature of the new area. Also, he tended to be a bit unruly, which I had started to find embarrassing.
Maybe we would have drifted apart even without the house move, but it was the last time we spent any time together.
(One year later, he started at the same high school. But I don't really remember seeing him there. Perhaps it was face blindness on my part, combined with him not wanting to acknowledge me.)
New Neighbours
One night, when our new neighbours had just moved in, they couldn't work out how to operate their gas boiler. I was only eleven years old, but I'd read all the instructions for ours, and had taken charge of its controls. So my parents asked me to help.
We all went next door, and after about one minute, I'd lit the pilot light and got the boiler running. (I remember that I was wearing my pyjamas at the time, which is not something I would ever do until bedtime these days, and certainly never outdoors!)
It felt good to have helped them successfully. Despite feeling very nervous, I often seem to perform best when there is some kind of minor emergency, particularly if nobody else seems to know what to do.
Simon
Almost every day at primary school, I had sat next to a boy called Simon. Like me, he didn't really fit in. So when we transitioned to high school, Simon used to walk home with me at lunchtime, and we'd eat at my house.
Sadly, Simon's academic struggles, which first came to light at primary school, were much more apparent at high school. Before long, he was moved into separate classes, and eventually to a different school.
Despite not always getting along, it was sad to lose touch with someone who I'd known since I was 4 years old, and spent so much time with. To this day, I have no idea what happened to him.
David
After Simon left, I often sat next to a boy called David instead. He seemed reasonably friendly, at least for some of the time, and we shared a few jokes. But when certain other people were around, he tended to insult me, to make himself look 'big' in front of them. (Later, I also spent time with a different boy, known as Dave.)
Showers
When I found out that I would be expected to use communal showers after every PE lesson, I got very distressed. (These days, it would probably be described as a meltdown.)
My mum talked to the school about the shower situation. They came up with a work-around, which involved them asking for two volunteers to leave the playing field early, to go back and 'warm up' the showers.
It was nice of them to accommodate me like that, but it did feel rather contrived. When everyone put their hands up to volunteer, and the teacher immediately chose me and Simon, I got the feeling that the other children were a bit suspicious.
After a couple of years of high school, I somehow stopped caring about hiding my body from the other children in the changing rooms. Instead, I quietly copied everyone else, which seemed preferable to being the odd one out.
School Building
My high school was fairly old — it probably opened about 30–40 years before I started. My eldest sister had gone there before me, whereas my other sister had gone to an all-girls high school instead.
It felt like a prison. That's the simplest way I can describe the place.
During my 1979–1984 'stay', they still used the cane on badly-behaved children. (I was always too frightened to step out of line though, so I never got punished that way.)
The whole place was a sensory nightmare. The toilets did not smell nice. The internal walls were painted bricks, meaning that the sound of children screaming and shouting echoed all around. Hearing the bell ring made my stomach churn.
Some classrooms had tables, which seemed very modern. But most still had individual desks, which were covered in graffiti, and had chunks of wood gouged out here and there. Seeing the inkwell holes on the desks gave a sense of history.
I seemed to spend a fair amount of time looking at central heating pipes and radiators. In the winter, we would sit on some large pipes outside the classroom door. (They were almost painfully hot to sit on, but it was so cold that we still did it!)
Pens
I think we started using fountain pens towards the end of primary school. I certainly remember using them at the beginning of high school. I loved installing new ink cartridges.
(I've always preferred blue ink, and don't like black ink. I think blue seems less harsh on my eyes, being lower contrast against the white paper. It's also easier to see which parts I've written, when filling out pre-printed forms.)
After a year or so, we switched to ordinary ballpoint pens instead. I remember taking in lots of different pens over the years. I especially loved a silver-coloured pen which had a choice of four colours.
My sister used to give me novelty pens that she'd bought on holiday, and despite some of them being rather thick and unwieldy, I would often use them at school. Even today, I can never bring myself to throw such things away, years after they have stopped working.
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| A couple of pens that I've had since the 80s. |
Calculators and Watches
In the 1980s, there were a number of fads, such as rulers which had a built-in calculator.
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| The calculator/ruler that I used at school. |
A boy called Dave had a musical calculator, which also had a clock and a stopwatch. I was fascinated by it, but knew my parents wouldn't be able to afford one, so I never really mentioned it at home.
One Christmas, my dad bought me a digital watch with a musical alarm. It was a fairly cheap one, from 'The 50p Shop', but I loved it. I still have it, even though it no longer works.
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| The watch that my dad bought me in the early 80s. |
David had a watch with a stopwatch, which counted in units of 1/100th of a second. I was quite envious, because my watch had no stopwatch, and could only show whole seconds.
Eventually, my parents bought me a TI programmable scientific calculator, which was probably my first introduction to programming. Eventually, the keyboard stopped working, and they got me a Casio one, which was more sophisticated.
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| The second scientific calculator that I used at high school. |
I spent many hours reading tiny calculator instruction booklets, learning every feature, and experimenting with programming. They were very primitive by today's standards, but it was like another world for me to escape into.
PE
I dreaded PE lessons. I didn't understand the rules of any of the games, and they seemed to assume we all knew. Reading books at home didn't help much either.
If someone passed the ball to me in a game, I rarely knew what to do with it. People would be shouting at me, telling me who to pass it to. But I couldn't take it all in, or decide quickly what to do. Whatever I did seemed to be wrong, or break some rule that made no sense.
I suppose it's not surprising that, whenever people had to pick players for a team, I was one of the last ones left.
I almost liked gymnastics — or at least it didn't seem quite so bad. I remember being made to balance on my head in front of the class, for some sort of demonstration. Just for once, my classmates seemed mildly impressed, because I seemed to have some sort of ability, if only for a moment.
Cross-country running was another one of the more bearable activities. I liked being away from other people, at the back of the pack. The trouble was, I didn't know the route, and occasionally followed people who were breaking the rules and taking a shortcut…
The local council built an obstacle course in a nearby park. During one PE lesson, we had to go to the park and complete the course. However, I wasn't physically strong enough for some of it, such as lifting large, heavy logs. It was embarrassing to be made to look inadequate in front of everyone else. (Being one of the youngest in my class didn't help.)
Despite not enjoying PE, it was only towards the end of high school that I would fail to take my kit. I remember being sent to a classroom, with all the other pupils who had left their kit at home, and being told to write something about the inside of a ping pong ball. At the end of the lesson, they threw away everything we'd written. (One of the pupils had written something rude about the teacher; perhaps they knew it would never be read.)
PE Bullies
In one of the first PE lessons at high school, I remember being on the playing field when a boy came up to me and said, in a menacing voice, 'When I say jump, you jump.'
I didn't know what to do, so I just walked away; luckily nothing else happened. He was one of a group of boys from a fairly rough area. I suddenly realised that life was going to be very different at the new school.
None of the PE teachers were especially nice. But there was one in particular who was a bully. During a rugby lesson, he used me — one of the weakest boys in the class — to demonstrate his idea of how to land safely, after being tackled. The basic idea seemed to be to use your forearm to actively hit the ground, at just the right moment.
He held me by my ankles, upside-down. My head was just above the hard, frosty field. He let go, and I dropped to the ground. Somehow, I managed to escape injury.
Looking back, I now see that I was being abused and targeted by him.
Pottery
The same teacher also taught pottery lessons, and he bullied me there too. At the start of each lesson, he would distribute large pieces of clay in an unusual manner, making it feel rather like another PE lesson. He would shout the name of a pupil randomly, without warning. Then he'd throw the clay at them! I remember feeling so anxious, waiting for my name, and worrying that I'd fail to catch it.
He also liked to point out, much to the amusement of the rest of the class, that I didn't talk very much. It made me feel very alone, like there was something wrong with me.
I was determined to try to change, so the following week, I made a real effort to talk more. But things didn't go well… he told me off for talking too much! It was all a big joke to him, and to the rest of the class. But it was no fun for me, to see everyone laughing at me.
It felt like some kind of payback, when he took part in a TV game show, involving a series of physical challenges. Before the show, he kept telling the class all about the fact that he would be on it. So when he performed really badly in it, I couldn't help but laugh, especially when another pupil mentioned it to him!
Residential Trip
During my second year of high school, we all had to go on a one-week residential trip.
On the trip, we had to sleep in dormitories, and I ended up with the bed next to David.
One of my worries was having to eat with the other children — something which I'd never done before. Despite my lack of experience, I somehow managed to cope with that side of things, and bluff my way through mealtimes.
I've never liked public toilets, but during my school years, going home at lunchtime allowed me to avoid them. That wasn't an option on the trip though.
Having other pupils waiting outside the cubicle door made me extremely anxious, meaning it was impossible for me to 'go'. In the end, for the whole week, I spent the minimum amount of time possible in the toilets, and only used them to urinate.
As the days went by, it became harder and harder to hold everything in. I remember sitting on hot radiators in the common room, trying to ease the discomfort.
When I got home, I literally ran into the house and straight to the toilet!
Today, as an adult, I still have a lot of anxiety about public toilets. It's especially bad in workplaces, if colleagues wait outside the cubicle door.
On the trip, several children got homesick, and one of them ended up going home early. I couldn't understand why they were in such a state. It never occurred to me that I could opt out. (Perhaps I'd had so much experience of dealing with unpleasant situations, that I was automatically prepared to endure it.)
David tended to wake up in the night, wanting to go to the toilet — but he didn't like going on his own. So he'd wake me up, and pester me to go with him! I was shocked that he seemed so needy.
The residential trip took place during cold, wet weather. Everyone seemed to end up with a cold. Regardless of the weather, we had to hang around in places like boatyards, holding clipboards, and making notes that nobody would ever read.
The teachers drove a minibus, to take us to various locations during the week. I remember hearing them talking during the journeys; they would often use foul language between themselves. Even worse, they ignored the fact that one boy on the minibus was on the receiving end of a series of horrible insults from classmates.
I also remember them driving very fast, on winding roads. They seemed to think it was fun, like a sort of challenge, to see who was the quickest. I simply sat there quietly, clinging on to my seat, wondering if we'd get to our destination without crashing.
In the evenings, there wasn't very much to do. We would run around the building, mostly going back and forth between the dormitories and the common room. I think the floors were shiny and slippery, which made it fun. But I was often worried about getting lost, or muddled up as to which way to go.
There was a ping pong table, but it was unusable, because some of the boys had decided to show off their strength, by hitting the balls as hard as possible. That meant that every ball was dented, and it was impossible to play a normal game.
One night, some of the boys tried to go down a corridor which linked our dormitory with the girls' one. I remember the teachers coming round to check whether we were all in bed. I didn't appreciate them shining a torch in my face, as I tried to sleep.
On the last night, there was a disco. I remember becoming a bit more confident in certain ways, and I ended up dancing amongst a group of boys.
The dancing style seemed fairly simple — more like jogging on the spot. Some of the songs I remember were: Baggy Trousers by Madness, Just A Feeling by Bad Manners and Banana Republic by The Boomtown Rats.
It was a complex mixture of copying their behaviour, masking certain parts of my true self, and letting a bit of my own personality out.
Overall, there were enjoyable moments during my time there, even though there was always an underlying feeling of uneasiness.
Day Trips
I have vague memories of a couple of day trips. On one occasion, we went ice skating. It was quite enjoyable, but I didn't like trying to learn in front of experienced skaters. It was also very cold!
For another trip, we went roller skating, at a place where they played very loud music. It was so loud that my ears were ringing for at least a day afterwards — I'm sure it damaged my hearing.
There was also a trip to the seaside. I remember the song Take It Away by Paul McCartney playing on the coach, and it always reminds me of that trip. I don't remember much else about it.
My mum surprised and embarrassed me on a few occasions at high school, by volunteering to help. Sometimes, I didn't know about her plans until I saw her there, or one of my classmates said, 'Isn't that your mum?'
On one occasion, she came on a trip to Edinburgh. I remember there being snow on the ground, when we were walking around the castle. They fired a cannon there at 1pm every day — I was quite concerned at first, because I actually expected a cannon ball was going to fly through the air!
Swimming
I never really looked forward to swimming lessons, but they were bearable once I got used to getting changed in front of others.
Initially, my mum put velcro on my towel, so I could put it around my waist for some privacy. However, it probably just made me look like even more of an oddball. After a while, I stopped hiding myself under the towel, which helped me to blend in.
The noisy, echoey environment was unpleasant, as was walking through a trough of chemicals before entering the pool.
In the wall of the pool, there was a grid where water was pumped back in. Many pupils used to hang around there, feeling the water rushing through, which was more fun than the swimming lessons.
At the end of each swimming session, the coach driver would come into the changing rooms, and tell us to hurry up. He often threatened to leave without us!
That meant that we never had chance to dry ourselves properly. I remember how hard it was to put my clothes back on, when they kept sticking to my wet skin. It was very stressful!
Towel Incident
One day after swimming, I was walking across the playground, when all of a sudden I was hit over the head with something heavy.
I was shocked! My heart was pounding.
After a few moments, I found that David had run up behind me, and swung a big bag containing his wet towel on top of my head!
It hurt physically — it felt like my neck compressed. It also hurt emotionally, because I'd started to think of him as some sort of friend.
All he did was laugh. There was never an apology, or any remorse.
Domestic Science, Metalwork and Woodwork
As far as I can remember, we were supposed to switch between these subjects every term. For some reason, I seemed to be moved between classes in such a way that I never got to do metalwork. And I would love to have done that subject. It felt like everyone else in the whole school had done it, apart from me.
Domestic science was mainly cooking and sewing. Despite the fact that I was comfortable using the cooker at home, I was uneasy about using it at school. I also used to get anxious about little things, like finding space in the fridge for my food. Or asking the teacher, if I didn't have a particular utensil. At home, I knew where everything was, and it felt totally different.
Sewing was another source of anxiety. My mum had an old sewing machine, and I knew everything about it. I used to make perforated tickets to play with when I was young, and sew pieces of fabric together.
Despite having gained a fair amount of experience at home, the teacher told me to ask one of the girls in the class to help me, when I needed to use the sewing machine. And I just couldn't do it. I didn't know how to approach her, and got in trouble with the teacher for not completing the task. (The machines at school were newer, and not familiar to me.)
Woodwork lessons were slow and frustrating. We always seemed short of equipment, so a lot of time was wasted, waiting for basic tools to become available. Even though I liked making things with wood at home, I didn't feel comfortable doing it at school.
I wasn't pushy like many of my classmates, so I was often at the back of the queue. Even when it was my turn, the next person in line would be pressuring me to hurry up — so I would often rush, or let them have the tool, instead of finishing what I was doing.
I also tended to be a perfectionist — I remember spending too long planing a piece of wood for a pencil case, trying to get it perfectly flat. I was disappointed when the teacher said he'd cut the grooves for everyone's lids, after the lesson had finished.
Music Lessons
At home in the 1970s, during my primary school years, my sister taught me to play a song on the guitar. I also used to play the reed organ.
(I wish I knew what make and model it was. The more well-known ones were Bontempi, but mine was a different make. All I remember is that it was two shades of blue in colour.)
As I got older, I longed for a more sophisticated keyboard. I'd seen people on TV running their fingers up and down piano keyboards, but I couldn't do that on my old reed organ, because the keys jammed if you tried.
When I was thirteen, my parents took me to a local music shop, to look at the electronic music keyboards, with the idea of buying me one for Christmas.
I spent ages in the shop, looking at several models by Casio and Yamaha. It was so hard to decide which ones I liked the best.
The Casio ones had no auto-accompaniment, but had about 100 voices. On the other hand, the Yamaha ones only had a few voices, but they also had auto-accompaniment. However, their keyboards started on F, whereas the Casio ones started on C, like my old reed organ.
In the end, I decided that the Yamaha PS-2 was a good choice. But when I opened the gift, I was surprised that my dad had switched it for the larger PS-3, which I'd dismissed as too expensive.
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| The music keyboard that my parents bought me in the early 80s. |
With all of the music-making I did at home, you might expect that music would have been one of my favourites subjects at school.
Sadly, the teacher did not see, or develop, any musical abilities that I might have had. I've never been able to read music, and music lessons didn't get me any closer to doing that.
I didn't have the confidence to perform in front of others. (I still don't — only my late wife and children have seen me play anything.)
During class performances, I was relegated to playing a couple of notes on the triangle. Or standing next to the teacher, and pressing one note on the piano when he nodded his head.
I wonder, if the school had known how to support someone who was autistic and ADHD, would I have actually achieved something during music lessons?
Art
I wasn't good at art. In some ways, it was rather like music — I didn't like trying to draw in front of other people, or show them what I'd done.
I couldn't relax and let it flow. I was still struggling with the basics, so it was hard to learn or improve.
My dad once did a piece of homework for me, and I was worried I'd get found out. But they didn't seem to notice, and just awarded average marks.
English
When I started high school, my first English homework assignment was to write about what I'd done during the summer. However, I didn't like sharing such information. It often felt embarrassing, that I'd not done anything that others might consider interesting.
When I didn't write enough material, the teacher wrote a simple comment, saying that it wasn't enough. At the time, it felt like I was in big trouble with her, which made me even more anxious. Luckily, my second attempt seemed adequate.
One bizarre memory of that teacher, was her response to a boy who asked to go to the toilet. She said, 'Can't you tie a knot in it?' I was quite horrified at the thought!
As time went on, my mum became a member of the Parent Teacher Association. She also used to help me with my English homework. Perhaps she helped me a little too much, because I ended up in the top set, and feeling out of my depth. It didn't help that English Literature was taught by the headteacher, who was quite an intimidating man.
Perhaps the worst part of English for me was standing up and giving a talk. The first one was quite technical and unusual. My chosen subject was resistors, a type of electronic component. I suppose it would be called a special interest today, but to me at the time, it seemed quite ordinary. As you might expect, I got quite a few remarks from classmates, in the days that followed.
The second talk I gave, when I was a little older, was about Margaret Thatcher. It makes me cringe to remember it now. I didn't really know very much about politics, with much of it being based on my parents' opinions.
Even worse, the headteacher made me give the speech again, in front of a group of people who I didn't know. (I think they might have been school governors and senior staff.)
When they asked me questions, I didn't really have any answers, and felt out of my depth. Somehow, I managed to 'wing it', and mask my sky-high levels of anxiety. It was an awful situation to be in, but yet I seemed to be reasonably good at speaking to a group.
Academically, I just about managed to get by with English Language, and pass the exam. But with English Literature, I really had no idea what was going on. All the 'reading between the lines', and understanding themes and plots, seemed like another language to me.
I ended up with a 'U' grade (ungraded) in English Literature! Even though I knew I wasn't very good, my course work had been passable in general. So I'd hoped to at least get a C or a D!
French
When I started high school, everyone did French lessons.
I tried hard, and liked some of the background work, such as doing write-ups about landmarks, and drawing little pictures. Unfortunately, the language side of things didn't come easily to me.
My sister was good at French, and had studied it at A-level. She tended to help me a little too much with the homework — rather like my mum had done with English — which gave my teacher a false impression of how good I was.
I ended up in the top set, and feeling out of my depth. Being in the top set also meant that I was offered the chance to switch to German, which I did.
Language Lab
Possibly the worst part of studying foreign languages at high school was the 'Language Lab'. The school seemed proud of their special classroom, filled with single desks, each of which was equipped with headphones.
The teacher had a control panel that allowed her to speak to the whole class, or individual pupils. The pupils could also be patched through, so they could reply to the whole class, or just the teacher.
The headphones were uncomfortable, and the sound quality was poor. Even worse, I hated the sound of my own voice, especially through those headphones. Added to that was the fact that I struggled to follow verbal instructions. The end result was that those headphones felt like some sort of torture device.
I used to dread being in that room. My heart would be pounding, and my stomach churning. I would be waiting, wondering if or when the teacher was going to make me speak to everyone via the headphones.
German
After feeling like I was getting behind with French, I liked the idea of having a fresh start by switching to German.
The first German lesson was hilarious. We were young and immature, so it didn't take much to amuse us.
The textbook described a family in an imaginary town, whose dog was called Lumpi. That was enough to make several people snigger. But when they introduced the Father ('Vater' in German), everyone fell about laughing upon hearing the pronunciation, which sounded like 'farter'. The teacher was not amused.
When writing this, I did a google search, because I wasn't sure if I'd remembered it correctly. Luckily, I managed to find someone else's blog post about it:
http://lexicoblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/lumpi-ist-mein-hund-german-for-no.html
In the end, apart from learning a few random, useless phrases, I struggled just as much with German as I had with French.
As well as finding the work difficult, there were also some awkward moments with the teachers.
One day when I walked into the classroom, there wasn't a clear path to my desk. To avoid asking people to move, I squeezed past the teacher. The trouble was, I didn't think about the large bag on my back, and when it nudged her, she shouted at me, which made me feel worse than I already did.
We once had a substitute teacher, who spent far too long telling me off for using an exercise book, instead of a ring binder. I still wonder if she forgot we were at high school, not college.
History
I often struggle to remember stories and facts that other people have told me, even when they are interesting and I desperately want to remember them. (I'm better at remembering things I've actually experienced.)
Sadly, I can't remember many of the stories that my parents told me about their lives. So I really struggled with history, which seemed to require me to remember lots of dates, battles, and what various kings and queens did. I dropped the subject as soon as I could.
Maths
Even though I don't remember being very good at maths in primary school — possibly because it often involved mental arithmetic, an area where I'm weaker — it quickly became one of my favourite subjects at high school.
My maths teacher happened to be very good, and I somehow 'clicked' with the subject, so I ended up getting good grades.
I remember how my maths teacher would look over the top of her glasses, if people were misbehaving. She had a way of commanding the respect of the class. My mum seemed to like her too — they were probably around the same age.
My maths teacher was very concerned when I chose not to do A-levels. She even arranged for me to visit the local college, hoping to change my mind. I remember feeling guilty and pressured — but I stuck with my plan and avoided doing A-levels.
Geography
Geography didn't seem as bad as history, perhaps because there were some mathematical elements to it, such as statistics.
I remember walking around the local streets, making notes about the types of houses in different roads. I hardly ever went out, so I didn't know my way around the area, which meant I ended up tagging along behind my classmates. Even today, I often have to fight the tendency to follow, rather than lead, when in unfamiliar places.
Computer Studies
My high school year was the first one in that school to be taught computer studies.
With an interest in electronics and programming, I think people expected me to do better than I actually did. It certainly wasn't the teacher's fault — she knew the subject well, and the lessons were generally pleasant and enjoyable.
One problem was that there was too much emphasis on history: very old computers, punched cards and paper tape etc. At the time, I was only really interested in modern microcomputers.
I once heard some boys, who didn't do computer studies, making remarks about the teacher's physical appearance. It shocked me to hear the way they spoke — I thought that such attitudes had been left behind, in previous decades.
Part of the course included a project, which was something that filled me with dread. The thought of contacting (and possibly visiting) a local company, to gather information, was too much for me.
Luckily, my sister's boyfriend worked at a place with a big computer system, and he managed to get hold of some information, and a few glossy brochures.
There was an after-school club, where two pupils could use an Apple ][ for an hour. I only went once, but had fun playing Asteroids with a boy called Steve. He found it hilarious when I mistyped 'RUN' and put 'RUB' instead.
Looking back, he was an unrecognised friend — he even brought in electronic components for me to experiment with at home. I wish I'd allowed the friendship to develop.
As time went on, the school went from having just a couple of Apple ][ machines to having several BBC Micros as well.
A few of the children (with rich parents) had BBC computers at home. But most had cheaper machines, such as the Oric-1, VIC-20 or one of Sinclair's models.
At school, I often studied the BBC Micro's manual, and wished that I had one at home. The machine was relatively sophisticated, and I was especially keen to experiment with its sound facilities.
My teacher said she had a Sinclair ZX81 for sale, and when I mentioned it to my parents, they said they'd buy it for me. I was very anxious about talking to the teacher, but the desire to own a computer forced me to do it. Unfortunately, I was too late, and someone else had beat me to it.
My parents ended up buying me a Sinclair ZX Spectrum for Christmas instead. It was only the 16K model, but that didn't matter to me — it was far better than the ZX81, and it had sound, albeit fairly primitive.
(Other children boasted about having the 48K model of course…)
Initially, we only had one TV in the house. But luckily, my sister's boyfriend gave her a black-and-white TV, which she didn't really want. So I ended up using it in the dining room. I didn't mind the lack of colour — I was glad to have anything.
I remember staying up late, working on programs connected with my project. I also designed my own sound-generator circuit, to make up for the Spectrum's poor built-in sound facilities.
On one occasion, the history teacher had to stand in, when the computer studies teacher was away. The class took advantage of his lack of knowledge — it was a chaotic lesson! I remember writing short experimental programs, to produce all kinds of sound effects. He became rather suspicious!
Geometrical Engineering Drawing (GED)
'Tech drawing' lessons, as they were often called, were usually the last ones in the morning, and took place in a Portakabin near the school gates. As soon as the bell rang, I would rush off home for lunch, before anyone else had even left the building! (The reason why will become clear, in a later section…)
It seems so antiquated now, that we were being taught to create large drawings by hand, when computer technology was taking over.
My teacher was a no-nonsense Scottish woman, who would occasionally tell us about her experiences of working in industry (which was male-dominated). She was very down-to-earth, and knew the subject very well.
Even though my drawings often ended up looking a little bit grubby, I enjoyed the subject, and achieved reasonable grades.
I used to spend quite some time every Sunday, doing homework on the dining room table. I took my time, partly to avoid having to listen to my eldest sister. (She visited every week, and insisted that we all paid close attention, as she told us every detail of her week.)
Science
At the beginning of high school, all the science subjects were taught together, by one teacher.
I really liked the science teacher, and in the early days, I became so enthusiastic that I'd even put my hand up to answer questions. After being near the bottom of the class at primary school, I started to feel like I had a chance to do quite well.
Unfortunately, remarks from classmates, about the fact that I kept answering questions, started to dull my enthusiasm. So I tended to keep my thoughts to myself after a while.
Around the time when we had to choose our options, the sciences split off into separate lessons.
I missed my old teacher.
Physics
My two favourite subjects at high school were maths and physics. They were also the ones where I got top marks.
Physics was the only subject where I sometimes got full marks for attainment, but lower marks for effort. It probably didn't have the effect that the teacher had intended. Instead of encouraging me to make more of an effort, I tended to see it as a compliment, that I had achieved a lot, with relatively little effort.
Something that sticks in my mind is the day when the teacher brought out a small, lead-lined box, to demonstrate radioactivity! One of the boys in the class asked, in a wonderfully understated manner, 'Sir, isn't that dangerous?'
The physics teacher seemed to have responsibility for the school's audio equipment. He picked me, along with a few classmates, to operate the equipment during assemblies.
It was nice to have been chosen, especially as I had an interest in that kind of technology. But it was also a source of stress and anxiety.
I didn't like the fact that he told us not to adjust anything — as though we'd mess up all the settings. During one of the assemblies, a different teacher told me to turn up the bass for a certain piece of music. I remember feeling torn about what to do.
Unlike many of my classmates, I never felt comfortable enough to have a meaningful conversation with any of my teachers — even in subjects like physics, where I was performing well academically.
Perhaps my primary school had drummed it into me, that I should only speak if someone asked me a question, and that I'd be told off if I broke that rule.
Towards the end of high school, the physics teacher gave me some old RS Components catalogues, which I devoured. I'd never seen them before, and they were an amazing resource.
He also asked me a question about a particular type of electronic circuit — I was taken aback to hear him asking my advice. But I didn't quite understand what he was getting at, and made a mess of answering. Then he said, 'Maybe you're not as advanced as I thought you were,' which really upset me, even though I didn't let it show at the time.
(Decades later, I had a similar thing happen at work, when the IT person asked me something.)
Chemistry
In general, I enjoyed chemistry lessons. The way the teacher presented the material was more like a college or university course — it felt like we were being trusted a little more.
Sometimes, I would struggle to understand something. But instead of asking for help, I would become preoccupied with trying to work it out for myself — and miss the next part of the lesson.
Despite struggling with some of the material, the teacher seemed to have a high opinion of me, and would praise me during parents' evenings. That made me even more reluctant to ask for help in clarifying some of the earlier topics, because doing so would make it clear that I wasn't as good as he thought I was.
My classmates seemed to find it amusing to air their thoughts about the teacher's sexuality; some of the things that they said appalled me.
(There was quite a lot of homophobia in general — abusive comments were regularly directed at any boy who was thought to be gay.)
Biology
I've always been rather squeamish, so I couldn't wait to drop biology. Being made to do things, such as dissecting a sheep's eye, made me feel very queasy.
Religious Education (RE)
Even though my mum went to church every week, I never had strong feelings about religion. I remember getting praised for an early piece of homework, in which I had to answer from three completely different points of view.
Unfortunately, the teachers made RE lessons very dull, so whatever enthusiasm I might have had at the start was soon gone.
One of the teachers seemed to have a chip on his shoulder, about young people borrowing money to buy motorbikes, which they soon crashed — and the money was never repaid. I didn't like the implication that all young boys were irresponsible.
Sex Education
The school brought in someone from outside to talk about sex.
As one of the youngest in the year group, and having never had a girlfriend, I felt very awkward about it all.
I remember them asking people to write down any questions that they had. The class found it highly amusing when one boy asked, 'Can condoms be used over and over again?'
The worst part was being separated into small groups, to discuss some particular aspect of sex. Later, each group had to report their thoughts to the class. I did my best to avoid being the group leader.
There seemed to be an implication that everyone was having regular sex — despite many of us being under sixteen years old!
When I didn't speak, the teacher was very patronising towards me, saying something like, 'I'm sure you'll find someone one day.' It really was an awful situation to find myself in.
Drama
I don't remember very much about drama lessons. On my school reports, most teachers described me as 'quiet and shy', so I don't think I ever got more than a one-line speaking part.
The main thing I remember is the teacher describing a relaxation technique. We all had to lie down on the hard wooden floor, and focus on relaxing each body part, one by one.
Cake Sale
To raise money, we had to bake cakes at home, then bring them in to sell at break times. I was very worked up about having to do that. I really didn't feel comfortable approaching other people, especially when trying to sell them something.
Hot Drinks
I'm not sure if it was meant to be some kind of honour, but for some reason, I ended up having to make tea and coffee for the teachers at break times. Unfortunately, it felt more like punishment to me.
It made me very anxious, because I couldn't remember all the details of how they wanted their drinks. Some wanted sugar, some wanted milk, and some wanted their drinks stronger or weaker.
The tea room was upstairs, so I had to carry the drinks down the stairs, along the corridor and out onto the playground. Once I'd found the right teacher, I was terrified of being told off for getting it wrong.
Friendships
Outside of school, in my new area, there didn't seem to be any opportunities to socialise with people of my age — not that I'd have found it easy even if there were.
At school, I somehow seemed to make friends with people who ended up moving away. Perhaps I attracted people who didn't fit in very well.
Neil was one of the boys who sat near me in some lessons, and we seemed to get along quite well. Unfortunately, before long, he moved to a different high school for some reason, and I never heard from him again.
Another classmate, Pete, came to my house a couple of times. We got along reasonably well, but I remember getting annoyed and upset once, when my difficulties in pronouncing a word seemed to amuse him. Even more upsetting was that my dad seemed to find it funny as well, and the two of them kept winding me up about it.
Despite that, it felt like I'd found a friend. So I was sad when he announced that his family was moving back to Ireland.
In maths, I sat next to a boy called Stephen. He was an only child, and seemed to have everything that money could buy. I remember my dad getting me a second-hand cassette deck, which I was thrilled with. When I made the mistake of mentioning it to Stephen, he told me that he had a much newer one.
 |
| I still have the second-hand cassette deck that my dad bought me . |
Whenever I got something new, such as a calculator, it wasn't long before Stephen had one too. I remember us 'play fighting' a little bit — we would hit one another on the head with rulers.
At times, it felt like Stephen was annoyed when I got good grades, as though he thought that having more money should have enabled him to stay ahead.
He once lent me his Atari games console for the weekend, which was amazing, because I'd never used anything like that before. He never came to my house though. Looking back, he was another unrecognised friend.
I can't quite remember the circumstances, but one break time, I was angry at Stephen for something he'd said or done. Perhaps other classmates had tried to stir up trouble, because several of them were following me around, when I was looking for him, with the intention of punching him in the stomach! In the end, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Dave (the one with the musical calculator) was a bit of a cross between a bully and a friend. He seemed to hang around with older boys in the school, and all of them seemed to do weight lifting, with arms and legs that were about twice as thick as mine. That made them feel quite intimidating.
We used to play 'tick' (tag), and they all seemed to like the fact that I was quite fast, and good at dodging them, which made it much more challenging for them to get me. I felt like I was doing it partly for fun, but partly to keep on the good side of them.
Upon finding out about my interest in electronics, Dave brought in a number of old gadgets for me, including a radio. He then asked me to make him an alarm circuit. It felt like I had a deadline, and no choice but to make the circuit for him. I remember my parents asking me what I was doing, when I spent hours working on it at the weekend.
Unfortunately, Dave misused and overloaded the circuit. I felt bad, because I'd gone to all that effort, simply to end up looking incompetent. It certainly taught me to make my circuits more robust in future.
Bullying
When we used to walk from lesson to lesson, we often had to use a narrow path, along the side of the building. I was almost always walking by myself.
On one occasion, a few girls were walking behind me, and one of them kept talking about the way I walked. (I had a 'bouncy' style of walking.) I became very self-conscious, and didn't know how to respond.
Later in the day, on the way home, another girl from the group caught up with me, and told me to ignore her friend's comments. I got quite tearful that she was concerned about me. (I’ve always found it harder to deal with nice comments, rather than nasty ones.)
There was another time, when one of the older girls in the year was going around grabbing boys in the groin, to 'see what they've got'. She grabbed me briefly; it was embarrassing, but nothing else happened.
When I used to walk back to school after lunch, around the age of fourteen, a group of younger boys would walk behind me, making horrible remarks.
I avoided them on the way home, by leaving promptly and running. I liked having lessons which were located near the school gates, such as GED. My aim was to be nearly home, before anyone else had left the site.
There were at least four of them, sometimes more. So even though I was a couple of years older, I felt very outnumbered. I also knew it was wrong to attack younger, smaller children. So I felt powerless to defend myself.
Their remarks sometimes made little sense — they would often call me by a surname that I didn't recognise. At other times, they would talk about the way I walked, call me 'Specky Four Eyes' because I wore glasses, or say that I was gay.
Most of the time, I tried to ignore them. But their daily taunts started to take their toll on me. I remember turning around and calling the ringleader a bastard on one occasion. His response was not what I expected — he simply said, 'You don't know what that means.'
It went on for about a year, but I never told my parents about it, or any of the other bullying that took place at that school.
During that time, I happened to be off sick with a stomach bug. Once I was getting better, every time I thought about returning to school, and having that horrible group following me home, my stomach would churn. So I told my mum that my stomach still didn't feel too good — and I ended up being off school for another two weeks or so!
I remember being taken to the doctor, and them prescribing what I think, looking back, was a placebo.
Returning to school after such a long break caused a massive amount of anxiety. I remember being asked, countless times, what had been the matter with me. My maths teacher was very concerned, and gave me lots of extra work, so I could catch up.
There were a few other occasions when I didn't go in, due to having a bad cold. I remember how good it felt to stay in bed, knowing that I wouldn't have to face the people at school, once my mum had decided I wouldn't be going in.
(I still remember my mum buying me the November 1981 issue of Everyday Electronics, while I had a bad cold, and couldn't taste anything; I still have that magazine.)
During a history lesson, I was sitting at a group of four desks, when the other boys decided it would be fun to have some sort of 'kicking contest'. My shins were very badly bruised after that. (I think Dave and David were the main ones, and Steve might have been another — he probably felt like he had no choice but to join in.)
The history teacher seemed oblivious to what was going on, despite the fact that I gradually moved my chair further and further away from the desk. In the end, he told me off for sitting too far away!
One day, when the weather was cold and wet, I remember going into a noisy classroom at break time, where people were hanging around.
As soon as I opened the door, I felt overwhelmed by the noise and chaos, and heard someone make a remark about me looking confused. It really upset me, and I immediately left the room.
There were probably dozens of other incidents, but I think those are the main ones that I remember.
Home Life
In my younger years, I'd played with other children in my area quite a lot, but I didn't really have anyone during my teenage years — especially after the first couple of years of high school, when potential friends had moved away. That meant that many of my evenings and weekends were spent at home.
My eldest sister got married before we moved house, so it was just me, my parents and my other sister (who was seven years older than me) living in the house. My sister went out a lot, so I didn't see much of her.
I used to read electronics hobby magazines, such as Everyday Electronics. I also spent a lot of time experimenting with electronic circuits, and making various audio amplifiers, before home computers came along and consumed too much of my free time.
I remember demonstrating a small amplifier to my uncle, when I was about twelve. On my bed, I had a small circuit board, connected to a speaker and a cassette recorder. Even though he tried to appear impressed and interested, I got the feeling that he didn't really know what he was looking at, or what to make of it.
Time With My Dad
Without people of my own age to play with, I ended up spending quite a lot of time with my dad. We would often go to a small hardware shop, which also sold 'government surplus' electrical items.
The shop was more like an old house, with tables scattered about randomly, displaying old speakers, meters, telephones and rheostats etc. Prices were very low, and written in pencil. The shopkeeper also had tobacco tins containing individual electronic components. I loved that place! I would usually come away from there with one or two items, costing around 50p.
 |
| One of the meters that my dad bought me, from the shop that sold government surplus. |
Eventually, I wanted to build a circuit that required components which the hardware shop didn't stock. They suggested another place across town, which was even more of an Aladdin's cave for me.
My dad didn't have much money, having been made redundant not long before he was due to retire. That became more apparent one day, when he was buying me some parts that came to just over £10 — and he was about 20p short. The shopkeeper kindly let us take the items, on the understanding that my dad would call in a few days later, with the balance.
My dad was 48 when I was born, and had done a woodworking course shortly after leaving the army, at the end of World War II. All my early amplifiers and speakers were housed in home-made wooden boxes. I enjoyed it when he helped me with my projects. On Sunday afternoons, we would often go to a local shop, and we'd walk home with a few planks of wood. Today, the smell of wood and varnish still reminds me of those days.
I also used to go on bike rides around 3pm every Sunday with my dad. His bike was very old, heavy, and different to most other bikes I'd seen. Its brake linkages used rods instead of cables. For lighting, it had a dynamo and a rusty chrome headlight, with glass that had yellowed with age. He used to travel to work on it, and would only go by bus during bad weather.
Sadly, I don't have a single photo of my dad's old bike — perhaps that's why I take far too many photos of things nowadays.
A few years later, maybe when I was leaving college, my dad got rid of his bike. Before that point, I'd not really thought about his age, or the future. He'd have been around 67 years old, and it made me very sad to think that he wouldn't be around one day. He died a few years later, when he was nearly 71, and I was 22.
Brother-In-Law
My brother-in-law, being about 10 years older than me, was a bit like the big brother I never had.
He lent me his old Scalextric sets, and gave me his old car magazines.
He taught me to drive when I was around twelve years old, on a disused airfield.
He lent me electronic test equipment, which he had for his job.
He taught me to play snooker and pool. And he gave me his old pool table, which occupied quite a lot of space in our living room for a while.
Dad's Moped
When I was about ten, my dad had a moped for a short period. I used to cycle to meet him, on his way home from work, near the outskirts of our estate. I remember an occasion when I got upset because I couldn't keep up with him.
My dad never let me try riding his moped. Perhaps it never occurred to him that I'd be interested. Or perhaps he didn't want to encourage me to do something that might be dangerous.
My brother-in-law, on the other hand, did let me ride it briefly. It was only for about 10 metres, after he'd been helping my dad prepare it for its annual MOT test. Despite the ride lasting only seconds, it was quite exciting.
A few years later, I resprayed the moped for my dad. I ended up using about three aerosols, despite the initial plan being simply to touch up a small area of rust…
Holidays
During my high school years, I went on maybe three family holidays with my parents. I used to love playing on the beach with my dad, and going on boating lakes with rowing boats.
Mostly it was self-catering, but there was one occasion where we also had breakfast and evening meals where we stayed. That was quite an experience, because I wasn't used to eating out.
I remember going on a day trip to Blackpool with my two sisters and their partners. It was rare to go to the seaside without my parents.
I had to make a big effort not to get lost, when walking around Blackpool. It paid off when we were heading back to the car, because I was the one who remembered that the road to the car park had tram tracks leading to it.
Mock Exams
I remember there being a lot of snow around, when I was doing my mock exams. I had to walk quite some distance, to get to the building where the exams took place. I liked the feeling of isolation that the snow gave me.
The song Mirror Man by The Human League reminds me of that time. I think my mind connected the sound of walking on crunchy snow, with the percussion sounds and general feel of the song.
Final Exams
Despite the final exams being stressful, mainly because I don't like being time-limited, I almost liked doing them because it was so quiet, and there was no need to interact with other people.
Normal lessons had finished, and I enjoyed not having to follow the usual timetable anymore.
During one of my exams, I got what I later found out was a migraine aura without headache. I was quite scared, because I had no idea what was happening. Luckily, I'd completed the exam a little early, so I could just close my eyes and let it pass.
(I still get similar migraines from time to time, when I'm under more stress than normal.)
After Leaving
The last time I went into school was to get my exam results. In a way, it felt cool to be wandering around, wearing my normal clothes instead of my uniform. Unfortunately, my trainers made an awful squeaking noise as I walked along the corridors…
Being one of the youngest in the year, I only turned 16 after finishing my exams. I still remember my mum taking me to the post office, and buying me £10 of premium bonds. It seemed to be some sort of family tradition.
I hardly ever saw anyone from school once I left. But around 1985, when I was walking home from college, Dave shouted to me. I think he was working near some scaffolding.
We chatted for a few minutes, and he told me how he'd crashed his car after passing his driving test! (I think alcohol was involved too…)
Sadly, a few years ago, I found out that he had died.
In the early 90s, I was in a local pub with my future wife, when I saw David (the one who whacked me on the head with the bag). He was easy to recognise, because his hairstyle hadn't changed. His mum was there too, and she hadn't changed much either.
It brought back all the unpleasant feelings, and spoiled the evening. I'm not sure if he failed to recognise me, but in the end, I didn't get to speak to him.
A few years ago, in a Facebook group, I was surprised to find the awful PE/pottery teacher. It was galling to see how popular he is with ex-pupils!
Facebook also enabled me to find Steve, the boy who I'd played with after school, using the Apple ][. I very much regret that I declined an opportunity to meet up with him, because he died a couple of years after I first got back in touch with him.
The End
As I said near the beginning, I keep thinking of all the things that I've forgotten to include. But this is already the longest post that I've ever written — so I think I'd better stop now!
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Changes
18 October 2021 — Added a paragraph to the bullying section, about being grabbed by an older girl.
* * * * *
Appendix: Music
The following list of songs is already too long, but I could easily have carried on, and listed hundreds more. As you can see, I'm not good at being selective!
I even started thinking about including theme tunes - but I had to stop somewhere.
Music always triggers a lot of memories for me, but in the interests of making this section a little shorter, I've only included notes about some of them.
Section 1 - List of Songs
* Means I've written a few notes in the last section, about one or more of that artist's songs.
ABC — The Look of Love
Adam and the Ants * — Stand and Deliver; Ant Music; Prince Charming
The Alarm — Where Were You Hiding When the Storm Broke
Joan Armatrading — Drop the Pilot
Associates — Party Fears Two
Patti Austin and James Ingram — Baby Come to Me
Bad Manners * — Just a Feeling; Walking in the Sunshine
Bananarama * — Cruel Summer
Beggar and Co — Somebody Help Me Out
George Benson — Give Me the Night
The Boomtown Rats * — Banana Republic; Someone's Looking at You; The Elephants Graveyard (Guilty)
David Bowie * — Ashes to Ashes; Let's Dance; Modern Love
Break Machine — Breakdance Party
Bucks Fizz — If You Can't Stand the Heat; Making Your Mind Up
Irene Cara — Fame
Phil Collins * — You Can't Hurry Love
Randy Crawford * — One Day I'll Fly Away; You Might Need Somebody; Street Life
Kid Creole And The Coconuts — I'm A Wonderful Thing Baby
Culture Club — Karma Chameleon
John Cougar * — Jack and Diane
Detroit Spinners — Working My Way Back to You
Dexys Midnight Runners * — Come on Eileen
Duran Duran — Girls on Film; Hungry Like The Wolf; Save A Prayer; Is There Something I Should Know; The Reflex
Earth Wind and Fire * — Let's Groove; Boogie Wonderland
Electric Light Orchestra — All Over the World
Fat Larry's Band — Zoom
Phil Fearon and Galaxy — What Do I Do
Firm — Arthur Daley (E's Alright)
Gibson Brothers * — Cuba; Ooh What A Life; Marianna
Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel * — White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
Eddie Grant * — Electric Avenue; I Don't Wanna Dance
The Human League * — Keep Feeling Fascination; Mirror Man; Don't You Want Me
Imagination — Music and Lights; Flashback; Just an Illusion
Joe Jackson — Steppin' Out
Michael Jackson — One Day In Your Life; Billie Jean; Beat It; Rock With You; Thriller
The Jacksons * — Walk Right Now
The Jam * — Going Underground; Start; Funeral Pyre
Jo Boxers — Just Got Lucky
Billy Joel — Tell Her About It
Howard Jones * — What Is Love
Quincy Jones — Ai No Corrida
David Joseph * — You Can't Hide (Your Love from Me)
Kansas * — Carry On Wayward Son
KC and the Sunshine Band — Give It Up
Nik Kershaw — Wouldn't It Be Good
Kids from 'Fame' — High Fidelity
Evelyn King * — Back to Love, Love Come Down
Kool and the Gang * — Let's Go Dancin'; Joanna; Cherish; Steppin' Out
Landscape — Einstein a Go-Go
Stacy Lattisaw — Jump to the Beat
John Lennon * — Nobody Told Me
Linx * — Intuition
Lipps Inc — Funky Town
Liquid Gold — Dance Yourself Dizzy
Paul McCartney * — Take It Away
Madness * — Baggy Trousers; Our House; Driving In My Car.
Maisonettes — Heartache Avenue
Kelly Marie — It Feels Like I'm In Love
Meatloaf — Dead Ringer for Love
Steve Miller Band — Abracadabra
Sugar Minott * — Good Thing Going
Modern Romance — Best Years of Our Lives
Melba Moore — Love's Comin' At Ya
Musical Youth — Pass the Dutchie
Booker Newbury III — Love Town
Gary Numan * — Cars
Odyssey * — Inside Out; Going Back to My Roots
Orange Juice — Rip It Up
Ozzy Osbourne — Bark at the Moon
The Pointer Sisters * — Automatic
The Police — Roxanne, Walking on the Moon; Message in a Bottle, Wrapped Around Your Finger
The Pretenders * — Brass in Pocket; Message of Love
Prince — Little Red Corvette
Queen — Radio Gaga
Rainbow — I Surrender
Raw Silk — Do It to the Music
Roman Holliday — Don't Try to Stop It
Diana Ross * — My Old Piano; I'm Coming Out; Upside Down
Roxy Music * — Dance Away
Saxon * — Never Surrender
Shalamar — Night to Remember; There It Is
Carly Simon — Why
Sister Sledge — Thinking of You
Slade — Run Run Away, Merry Xmas Everybody
Spandau Ballet * — Only When You Leave; True; Musclebound
Squeeze — Cool for Cats
Status Quo — Marguerita Time
Survivor — Eye of the Tiger
Tenpole Tudor * — Swords of a Thousand Men
Evelyn Thomas — High Energy
Tracy Ullman — Breakaway
Ultravox — Vienna
Undertones — It's Going to Happen!
Van Halen — Jump
Dionne Warwick — Heartbreaker
Wham — Bad Boys; Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
Barry White — You See the Trouble with Me
Whitesnake — Give Me More Time
Kim Wilde — Chequered Love; Kids in America
Matthew Wilder — Break My Stride
Deniece Williams — Let's Hear It for the Boy
Mari Wilson — Just What I Always Wanted
Windjammer — Tossing and Turning
Womack and Womack * — Love Wars
World In Action Theme *
XTC * — Sgt Rock
* * * * *
Section 2 - Memories
Adam and the Ants — Stand and Deliver; Ant Music; Prince Charming
I remember the group having two drummers, which seemed to impress some of the boys at school.
My uncle brought round his young grandson, who seemed to like singing Prince Charming. He kept pestering me to sing too, which was never going to happen. I remember wondering why I couldn't be as relaxed as him, about performing in front of other people.
Bad Manners — Just a Feeling
Linx — Intuition
Sugar Minott — Good Thing Going
XTC — Sgt Rock
These tracks remind me of spending time with my dad, working on amplifiers and speakers together. We both liked these tracks.
Bananarama — Cruel Summer
I love the percussion in this track. It has a hazy sort of feel, giving it the feel of a hot summer.
It reminds me of being on holiday with my parents, possibly the last holiday we ever went on together.
(I only like the original, not the newer remix.)
David Bowie — Ashes to Ashes; Let's Dance; Modern Love
Gary Numan — Cars
Roxy Music — Dance Away
My sister used to play a lot of records by these artists, when I was in my room experimenting with electronic circuits and LEDs.
Phil Collins — You Can't Hurry Love
This reminds me of playing pool at home.
John Cougar — Jack and Diane
I remember paying close attention to the story in this song. I also used to play parts of it using my keyboard.
Randy Crawford — One Day I'll Fly Away
This was playing on the radio in the local electronics shop, on the occasion when dad was short of cash.
Dexys Midnight Runners — Come on Eileen
This reminds me of when my eldest sister's old record player was being sold. They used this song to demonstrate it, over and over again!
Gibson Brothers — Cuba; Ooh What A Life
These tracks take me back to the very beginning of high school. Even though I like them, they also remind me of a feeling I used to get in the pit of my stomach, when I had school the following day.
Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel — White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
A classmate brought in a ghetto blaster on the last day of term. I could tell that he thought that playing this song made him look cool.
Eddy Grant — Electric Avenue
I remember this being on top of the pops, and my dad and sister talking about it.
The Human League — Keep Feeling Fascination
This was stuck in my head around the time I had to sell cakes in the playground. I loved the synth brass sounds.
The Human League — Mirror Man
The percussion sounds and general feel of this song reminds me of when I was walking through the snow, to go and do my mock exams.
The Jacksons — Walk right now
This reminds me of a time when I kept trying different cassette recorders, and returning them to the shop because of problems with them.
The Jam — Going Underground
The Boomtown Rats — Banana Republic
These were some of the first vinyl singles that I bought myself, at a small local shop. (My mum had bought one or two records for me before that.)
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| Some of the first vinyl records that I ever bought. |
The Jam — Start
I remember someone at school being laughed at, because he thought this was called 'What You Give Is What You Get'.
The Jam — Funeral Pyre
I mistakenly referred to this song as 'Funeral Fire', which caused a lot of embarrassment at school.
Howard Jones — What Is Love
This reminds me of the time when I had my ZX Spectrum, and also of doing some of my exams.
David Joseph — You Can't Hide (Your Love from Me)
I listened to this frequently, whilst working on a graphic equaliser circuit.
Kansas — Carry On Wayward Son
I discovered this song when I was on holiday with my parents. I played it over and over again, and kept playing it when we returned home. I remember listening to it with my dad, trying to understand what it meant.
Evelyn King — Back to Love; Love Come Down
These tracks take me back to one of the last holidays I went on with my parents. I used to play them using a cheap personal cassette player, on the journey down.
Kool and the Gang — Steppin' Out
Earth Wind and Fire — Let's Groove
The physics teacher used these tracks, when testing the school's audio equipment.
John Lennon — Nobody Told Me
I remember listening to this with my dad. We spent some time discussing the lyrics, which often managed to be amusing, deceptively simple, and quite deep at the same time.
Paul McCartney — Take It Away
This was playing on a school trip. I remember listening to it with my dad as well.
Madness — Baggy Trousers
This make me think of school. It seemed to encourage people to make fun of anyone with badly fitting school trousers.
Odyssey — Inside Out
This always takes me back to a hot summer in the early 80s.
Odyssey — Going Back to my Roots
This seemed to be played a lot on the radio, around the time when I learning to use scientific calculators.
The Pointer Sisters — Automatic
I loved the synth sounds in this track, and tried to reproduce them using the sound add-on that I made for my Sinclair ZX Spectrum.
The Pretenders — Message of Love
This was playing on a radio being an art lesson. I liked the song, and was surprised that Dave did too.
Diana Ross — Upside Down
I remember hearing this playing out of my sister's bedroom window, when I was waiting to go on holiday with my parents.
Saxon — Never Surrender
This song resonated with me, because of the hostile environment I found at high school.
Some of the lines included:
'Just people puttin' me down'
'Never surrender'
'When you're up against the wall'
'Stand up fight them all'
Spandau Ballet — True
This takes me back to the time when I had to sell cakes in the playground.
Tenpole Tudor — Swords of a Thousand Men
I rarely told anyone what songs I liked, because they would usually laugh and tell everyone else. This was an exception, perhaps because it seemed safer to mention something involving swords to other boys. I remember that David liked it too.
Womack and Womack — Love Wars
I remember using a radio that Dave gave me, and finding this playing on a weak, distant radio station.
World In Action (TV Theme Tune)
I never really watched the show, but I remember the organ sound in the theme tune having a real late-70s vibe.
(I'd intended to skip TV shows and theme tunes, but I had to include one.)
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