Christmas Memories

Light bulbs, Meccano, people I loved, and an unusual sandwich

Christmas memories: My parents' old bulbs, now used as tree decorations. Also: The instructions from the Meccano set my parents bought me in 1978. Photo taken by the author.

Childhood

When I was growing up in the 1970s, Christmas was an exciting time for me.

I loved putting up decorations with my mum, and making paper chains. I also loved all the music and lights. Perhaps my fascination with light bulbs came from gazing at the bulbs on our small tree.

For many years, our Christmas tree was a very old artificial one, which mostly resembled tinsel. I loved the large bulbs, and referred to the red and white ones as ‘The Father Christmas bulbs’. The yellow and orange ones reminded me of pigs, so I referred to them as ‘The Pig Bulbs’.

Back then, I didn’t have any major responsibilities. I didn’t even have to worry about choosing gifts for people — my parents did so much for me. I miss them all year round, but perhaps even more so at this time of year.

There were some parts of Christmas that I didn’t look forward to quite so much. We would visit relatives who I didn’t know, and they would ask questions about me, which made me feel awkward. (Back then, nobody knew I was autistic and had ADHD.)

My mum went to church every week, and insisted on taking me with her, when she attended Midnight Communion on Christmas Eve. I wasn’t keen on the overpowering smell of incense, or having to walk all that way in the freezing cold late at night. I remember my lips feeling like they were burning on one occasion, when I was trying to sleep. If only I’d told my parents that my lips were chapped, instead of trying to tolerate the discomfort all night.

There were yearly parties for the employee’s children where my dad worked. I always went, and enjoyed certain things such as listening to the music, and running around the large building. But I used to dread queuing up for the gifts that they handed out, and I didn’t really interact with the other children.

The most memorable present from my parents was probably a Meccano set, when I was about 10 years old. I rarely built the models shown in the instructions, and tended to experiment with the design of simple vehicles instead. I was more concerned about whether things worked, rather than how good they looked.

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The Sandwich

Around Christmas 1992, I met my then-girlfriend’s parents for the first time. My girlfriend asked me if I’d like a sandwich, and I followed her into the kitchen. On the worktop was a partly eaten roast chicken or turkey. (I can’t remember which.)

I was in for quite a surprise, because she didn’t reach for a carving knife. Instead, she used her bare hands to rip the meat off the bird, stuffed it into a barm cake, and handed it to me! For a moment, it was almost like she became a savage!

It didn’t change the way I felt about her though — we moved in together 5 months later, and got married the following year. Looking back, I’m so glad she made the sandwich like that, because it made the evening easier to remember.

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Christmas As A Couple

The first Christmas I had after moving in with my girlfriend was in 1993. It’s all a bit hazy now, but I do remember at least a couple of things from that year.

One memory is buying our first Christmas tree in Asda. It was only a small, cheap artificial tree — but it was ours. I made a small stand for it out of scrap timber, to raise it up. It was an attempt to compensate for the tree’s lack of height. We covered my rough-and-ready stand in wrapping paper, in an attempt to make it look a bit better.

We used that same tree until about 2011, when we decided it was time to get a slightly taller one. I felt quite attached to it, but my late wife didn’t seem overly concerned about throwing it out.

Another memory is going to Toys “R” Us, and buying a few toys for ourselves. It was like we were reliving our childhoods together, at the age of 25. My girlfriend knew how much I’d loved my Meccano set when I was younger, so she encouraged me to buy a new one. I think she bought a jigsaw and a couple of board games that she used to enjoy.

I remember my eldest sister catching us in the shop, with a trolley full of toys. It was a bit embarrassing, and I think we told her we were shopping for my girlfriend’s younger sister. That was probably true — it just wasn’t the only reason we were there…

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Christmas With Our Children

My late wife always knew just what gifts to buy for our children. She was a great mum, and she did a whole range of things to make it feel like a special time. (I’m getting upset as I type this, thinking about how hard it’s been to lose her when our children were so young.)

One of the crazy gifts I remember our children playing with was a small inflatable pirate ship. We filled it with coloured balls, of the type used in ball pits. We seemed to spend all our time collecting the balls and putting them back. It was worth it though, because they had a lot of fun.

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I think I’d better stop now, or I’ll never get this published before Christmas. I suddenly made an impulsive decision to write something this morning, but didn’t leave myself enough time — it’s probably because I have ADHD.

Season’s greetings and best wishes to all my readers.

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The author first published this article on Medium. It was added here on 3 January 2022.