My Life Story (Very Short Version)

Autistic & undiagnosed: feeling different, but not knowing why

Without knowing it, I was an autistic child growing up in the 70s and 80s. I knew I was different, but I didn’t know why.

I went through mainstream school and college, and found it difficult to socialise with others. I had no support — nobody knew why I was the way I was.

Picture from around 1980, of me around 12 years old on a quiet beach, wearing a coat, crouching down near a small mound of sand surrounded by several sand pies. I was wearing a winter coat, so it was probably cold and windy.
A photo of me on a family holiday. It was taken by my dad, probably around 1980.

At best, I was typically described as being quiet and shy.

After school and college, I got a job, and got married. Life was good, and seemed normal to me. But then my wife was similar to me — we didn't really socialise with others. 


After about 15 years, she got diagnosed with an incurable cancer, and died a few years after that, leaving me all alone in the world again. The one person who I depended on for everything was gone!


A year or so after losing my wife, I heard about autism, and realised it seemed to describe me. So I got in touch with my GP, and went through the gruelling process of being 'tested'.

They concluded that I have an Autism Spectrum Condition. That explained so much about the difficulties I've had all my life, in everyday situations where most people would find it easy.


But most people don't really seem to understand — both about being widowed, and about autism.


So, here I am... 

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This post was first published on my Facebook page on 20 September 2017, before this blog started. It was added here on 9 December 2019.

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